Monday, 28 October 2013

Get Real | Speaking without thought

Asalaamualaikum Everyone! This is a tiny look post (coz I'm not sure what pics to put up with this post) with some hopefully thought provoking content! As you all know in these recent days it’s been and will be the return of the Hujaj and I am sure that many of you have been or will be visiting these blessed Hujaj. On my visit, this past week, an aunt mentioned to one of the girls that her scarf was not appropriate hijab wear. That ignited a conversation about these type of comments between us.

Knowingly or unknowingly, these remarks can hinder or deter someone from trying to wear hijab, especially for someone living in what is deemed as a western country. People should understand that hijab is a personal journey, as I have made mention in my Look Post | Boy/Girl Turbanation.

Further more, I came across a status on Lisa Vogl’s page recently regarding a revert who had been Muslim for only 7 days, attending her first Jumuah in the masjid. It happened that another muslimah condemned her regarding the manner in which she performed her salah. Needless to say, the poor girl never returned to the masjid. Lisa made a very valid point in saying, that Muslims should be more helpful to new reverts so as not to discourage them.

This nagging issue, came up again when I read Baked the Blogs, Talk | My Acne Story post on her blog. She mentioned that someone put up a status on facebook with regards, to her Talk | Flaws and All post that, he/she found it fake when a blogger who seemed extremely happy with her image, flaunted her beauty, always wore skimpy outfits and lots of make-up, could blog about insecurities. This then made me realize that I have come across many similar comments about other hijabi bloggers, may it be their skinny jeans, open necks or arms, make up and even eyebrows!

It made me realize that people have become more and more brazen to speak their mind and all this prompted me to write this post. A person making a comment may not mean to intend harm but nonetheless it may come across as judgmental. It is true though that Islamically when we see something wrong we should educate to rectify, yet we should not publicly force this. It should be done in an amicable and above all friendly and private manner.

Why do people feel the incessant need to voice their thoughts? The fact is that it is human nature to judge, but what is it that makes most people think that their own houses are not made of glass?

As Lisa said in her status these judgments can push born muslims and converts away from Islam rather than help to push them towards the right path. It therefore disguises the fact that Islam is a beautiful religion. However, it is not Islam that falters, but us Muslims who should not make a mockery out of our deen by acting too carelessly. We are suppose to, after all follow the most perfect example, of our Beloved Nabi Rasool in his acts of kindness and reservation.

Think about this, someone that may not wear hijab the proper way may have the purest of hearts and be closest to Allah the Almighty. No one knows what a person holds within. We, as muslims are constantly criticized just for being muslim from people of all faiths. Why do we then make it even harder by internally criticizing our own?

It is also true that in Islam the different madhhabs have slightly different views on certain topics, for example, Shafii’s feet forms part of their awrah and hanafi’s it does not. This makes it obvious that we should ensure that we are properly educated ourselves before we even think to pass comments on others. However, in the instance that we are properly knowledgeable and feel the need to correct someone, it is of paramount importance that we should take the person aside and explain the grievance in the kindest way. I play not innocent, as I myself have been caught judging from time to time. As I am sure we all have at some point.

I personally feel though, that it is of vital importance we put an end to this denigration. We all should stop feel mightier than thou and realize that if we put an ounce of effort into helping people rather that criticizing, the world would be a better place for it.

We are lucky enough however, to have those few that are there to help. Those that won’t be telling you that your hair is sticking out, in any malicious way. People like Lisa and Monika and Nashiha of the HijabiBengali sisters who, after the incident with the new revert decided to start a page called the Deen Team in which they aim to assist reverts along their journey.

It is only this way can we start to change and heal, and instead of push away, positively affect people. Who does not want to be able to encourage their fellow brothers and sisters and know that they have somehow contributed them to finding the right way? I know this is not the type of things I usually blog about but I think its important to get real every now and again. I’d like to end this of by asking, how many of us are guilty of disparaging a person when on hindsight we could have found a better alternative and by doing so become better people ourselves?

Soon to come to the blog, local inspiration and a husband post! Until then keep it you, and keep it modest. Much love!


 memrsme

Glossary
Madhhabs - Religious jurisprudence
Awrah - Intimate parts
 

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